Of Misunderstandings and Spaghetti
by Beanus
Summary: Sans and Papyrus agree to show up for Frisk's school show and tell. She's never regretted a decision that hard ever since. Set after the True Pacifist ending.


Frisk was, for all intents and purposes, quite the resourceful kid.

Freeing of all monsterkind, bringing about a new age of peace and history and being an ambassador only at the tender age of eight definitely qualified her for some sort of royal title, if anything, really. There was no problem the girl couldn't solve peacefully, or talk out of.

So what exactly would she bring to fifth-grade show and tell?

"aw, i'm touched. sure, kid, we got your back."

"NYEH HEH HEH! IT IS ONLY DESTINY THAT I, THE GREAT AND QUITE MAGNANIMOUS PAPYRUS, SHALL COME TO YOUR AID IN THE DARKEST HOUR! FRET NOT, FRISK, FOR YOUR OTHER TINY HUMAN FRIENDS WILL FEEL THE STING OF DEFEAT! AND MOST PROBABLY INADEQUACY!"

Excitedly patting her on the head a few times, Papyrus walked away to think about what he would dramatically spout, occasionally uttering quiet 'nyeh heh heh's while smacking right into the wall.

"man, frisk, you shoulda told me there was a job that involves doing nothing but standing there and talking earlier. now i gotta work double time on my material."

Winking, the chubby skeleton tapered off to go sell hot dogs and make bad puns before his big debut. Or go to sleep, whichever tickled his fancy at the moment.

Rubbing her tiny hands together, Frisk otherwise let no emotion show on her face as usual. This plan was golden! Sans and Papyrus were the coolest monsters around beside Toriel, who was currently working her own job as a teacher. Surely everyone else would find them totally cool, too.

It was only a matter of time, however, that things quickly spiraled out of the small girl's control.

* * *

"Thank you, Avery. Everyone, give a rousing applause for Avery and his father for explaining engineering to us!"

Frisk idly clapped, hearing little other applause. Mrs. Danforth was a nice enough lady, but no one could really hold her attention and teach her stuff as well as Toriel did. Credit where credit is due, though.

"Now then, would anyone else like to volunteer?"

Now we're talking. Raising her hand first, Mrs. Danforth smiled at the small girl's boundless enthusiasm. It had taken Frisk quite some time to open up at all during class, after all. Unfamiliar to the contact of other humans, Frisk was a very introverted kind of kid, never speaking or even _opening her eyes._ To this day, nobody quite knows how Frisk manages to move so quickly and smoothly while being effectively blind.

"It looks like Frisk is stepping up to the plate! Give it up for Frisk, everyone!"

Filled with determination, Frisk nodded as a few more claps came her way and took a gulp. Knocking on the door twice to signal Sans and Papyrus, she waited...

and waited...

and-

 ** _*CRASH!*_**

That's new. Striking a familiar pose, Papyrus dusted stray shards of glass off of his armor and ignored the screams of terror, cape valiantly flowing in wind that did not exist.

"NYEH HEH HEH! TIS I, **THE GRRRRRREAT PAPYRUS!** OH, AND SANS. BUT MOSTLY ME!"

Sans simply opted to enter the room like any other person would; the door. Ignoring Papyrus' quiet 'BORING', Sans' lazy smile slightly widened.

"hey kids 'n kiddos, whats up?"

Danforth stared at the two skeletons in her room. Although the initial shock of monsters still existing had worn off in the initial months, it was more stunning that the taller one had managed to **break an open window**.

A trembling hand went up in the crowd, which Papyrus acknowledged.

"AH, YOU WISH TO HEAR MY BIOGRAPHY! LUCKILY FOR YOU, NOT FRISK, I HAVE BROUGHT ALONG SEVERAL AUTOGRAPHED COPIES!"

"U-Um, mister? What...do you do?"

Papyrus confidently smirked, about to answer when Sans gently pushed past his brother.

"we were sentries for king asgore. believe it or not, kiddies, humans weren't too welcome underground."

The class oohed and 'ah'ed, Danforth even looking slightly impressed.

"INDEED, OUR INSTRUCTIONS WERE TO KILL ANY HUMANS AND TAKE THEIR SOULS!"

Uh oh. Making 'stop' hand motions, Frisk tried desperately to grab Papyrus' attention. Unfortunately, it fell upon deaf earholes.

"AFTER THAT, KING ASGORE WOULD ABSORB THE SEVEN SOULS, BREAK THE BARRIER KEEPING ALL OF US UNDERGROUND, AND THEN DESTROY ALLLLLLL OF HUMANITY! MONSTERS WOULD HAVE RULED THE ENTIRE WORLD! I WOULD'VE BEEN HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD! NYEH **HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!** "

Viciously elbowing the excited Papyrus in the abdomen, Sans tried to calm the now terrified children with a signature wink and smile while ignoring his brother's whines.

"uh, that isn't the case now though, trust ol' sans...we think you're all pretty neat thanks to frisk, right papyrus?"

"B-BUT OF COURSE! DESPITE THE INTENSE, SEARING PAIN IN MY ABDOMEN BONE DESPITE HAVING NO PAIN GLANDS, I SUPPOSE I COULD REGALE YOU WITH EPIC TALES ABOUT MY COOL FRIEND, FRISK!"

Mentally sighing, the girl could feel a ghost of a smile creep onto her face. Relaxing into her seat, Frisk popped open the small water bottle to take a large gulp...

"WE DATED!"

Only to violently spit it out all over the floor. Coughing, Frisk looked back up to see Mrs. Danforth taking a hesitant step forward.

"You...had a pretend date, right? A play date, if you would-"

"NOPE! IT WAS VERY ROMANTIC AND NOT AT ALL PLATONIC! FRISK HAD EVEN CARESSED MY BICEPS WITH A FLOATING HEART! SHE WAS REALLY IN LOVE WITH ME THAT ONE TIME!"

"uh, it was innocent, trust me. i swear on all the bones in my body, heh."

Papyrus, uttering a triumphant 'NYEH HEH HEH', crossed his arms and took in a breath. Frisk, sensing horrible danger, ran over and began pounding Papyrus' boot with her small fists. Sadly, however, to no avail.

 _Papyrus probably didn't even notice_ , she grimly thought. Bracing herself,

"SHE FOUND... **MY** **SECRET. ALL ON HER OWN.** YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO BE AMAZED, I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU!"

Smashing her head into the floor, Frisk felt her face rapidly heating up. This was quite possibly the _worst_ day of her life ever.

"uh oh. bro, watch what you're sayin' here..."

Casting a nervous glance towards an incredibly disturbed Mrs. Danforth and a deathly embarrassed Frisk, Sans' smile slightly faltered for the briefest of second as he saw her inching towards the phone. If bones could sweat, Sans would definitely feel it under his heavy parka.

"NYEH HEH HEH! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING, BROTHER! NOW THEN, TINY SNIVELING CHILDREN..."

Papyrus took a dramatic step forward, greeted with a chorus of desks screeching backwards.

"DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING SPECIAL TO YOU? SO SPECIAL A THING, IN FACT, THAT YOU WILL SHOW ABSOLUTELY NO ONE? NO ONE...EXCEPT THOSE WITH THE MOST BURNING OF PASSION AND LUST?"

Papyrus had unwittingly drawn the previously terrified children in, and they listened to his budding story with rapt attention. Danforth, however, had started rapidly dialing numbers into the classroom phone. Noticing this, Sans tugged at his brother's sleeve, only to be ignored. Looking towards Frisk, the girl had opted to curl up into a tiny, striped ball, trying to shut out reality.

"uh, bro-"

"IT WAS A COLD NIGHT, AND MY DATE WITH FRISK HAD COME... **TO A CLIMAX**. HER EYES, HOWEVER, WERE THAT OF AN EAGLE WITH BINOCULARS AND A PAIR OF MODERATELY POWERFUL GLASSES, AND SHE MOST EASILY SPOTTED THE SECRET UNDERNEATH MY TOTALLY COOL CLOTHES!"

"bro. bro she's calling security or whatever stop it"

"I WAS GIVEN NO CHOICE; I NEEDED TO TAKE IT OFF AND SHOW FRISK MY **COMMITMENT TO THE DATE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAD GIVEN HER MY GREATEST ASSET! SPAGHET-** "

Papyrus had no time to finish his sentence as two police offers slammed him to the ground. Crushed with an inelegant 'NYARGHLKH', he was cuffed and taken away.

"Y-Yes officers, that's the pervert that touched that little girl!"

Sans let out a long sigh, but the smile stayed on his face. One could easily tell, however, that the smile was that of pure frustration. Silently picking up Frisk to prevent her from fusing with the tile, Sans lazily waved to Mrs. Danforth before following the officers.

"its not often that i don't back ya up, but you seriously had that coming ya bonehead."

* * *

"AND THEN BIG HUBBA SAID 'WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?'. I RESPONDED WITH 'SPAGHETTI', BUT HE ONLY SEEMED TO GET ANGRIER! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus pulled a valiant pose as he retold his day to a thoroughly confused Asgore, a proud Undyne, and an equally confused but also angry Toriel.

"FUHUHUHU! Sure, you landed into prison for a couple of minutes, but the rest was...heh, I trained ya well!"

Asgore gave Papyrus a patient smile as he cut into the steak. While he meant no ill will (he never did), the tall skeleton was certainly a distinct character to him.

"Hmm, that was indeed an...interesting tale, Papyrus. What do you think about it, Tori?"

"...Papyrus, please do not be insulted by this, but I think that it'd be best for Frisk _and you_ if you simply did not come to show and tell again. Please?"

"WHAAAAAAT?! B-BUT YOUR MAJESTY, MY CHARM AND GRACE EARNED ME THE AWE OF SEVERAL TINY HUMANS! AND A FREE CAR RIDE! AND A NEATO PAIR OF BRACELETS!"

"i think you should just go ahead and agree with toriel on this one, bro. it'd be an easy... **cop out.** "

 **"SANS!"**

Everyone but Papyrus started laughing, filling the dining room with warmth and mirth. Even Toriel, who had tried to keep a mask of annoyance towards the taller skeleton, busted out into chuckles.

It was an entirely different story, however, upstairs. More specifically, Frisk's room. Even hours later, Toriel would later report that Frisk's embarassed moans could be heard from outside the door.

* * *

 **A/N:** My second Undertale story! After this is...a multi-chapter Papyrus story! Yeah!

Leave some reviews if you want, it's well-appreciated!


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